Where I’ve Really Been

I was hoping to write this most in about four more weeks with a much happier tone, but life is what it is.

April 19th we were surprised, but excited to find out that we had a baby on the way.

May 2nd I went in for an inconclusive ultrasound after some light spotting and cramping.

I spent the next few weeks being warily excited, but on Monday night I put out a distress call to some friends; I just had this sinking feeling that something was wrong and I hadn’t been able to shake it.

I went to my first OB appointment and they sent me straight to ultrasound, I joked with the ultrasound tech “Come on heartbeat!”, but it was clear from the beginning.  The next thing I said was “That looks really empty” and she confirmed my suspicions.

Yesterday we confirmed that the pregnancy has been lost.  The horrible term that will forever be on my medical record is “blighted ovum”.  Whatever happened it happened early, probably around the beginning of May, because the gestational sac was just a big black hole on the ultrasound with nothing inside.

We understand the science – that there was something fundamentally wrong with this babies chromosomes and development mercifully ceased.

I am thankful in many ways for that – my child spared from a difficult life.

I am thankful God spoke to me to take a test on a whim on Cycle Day 21 so that we knew about the pregnancy from almost day one.

We are sad – I cried endlessly on the short drive home, collected myself enough to walk in the door and broke down again as soon as my husband walked up the stairs.

We are doing our best not to dwell – we arranged some babysitting and took ourselves out to dinner and a movie.

Now we are waiting for a little bit longer for nature to figure out whats going on and take it’s course, and if that doesn’t work we’ll have a simple procedure in a few weeks to help it along.

We won’t be rushing back into our family planning – the doctor’s recommend a few months between attempts and with a few things that have come up since April we probably will put the trying on the back burner until this fall or winter at the earliest.  However, it doesn’t mean all hope is lost – just delayed a little bit.  At the moment we have no reason to believe that this forecasts doom on our future chances.

There are little blessings – we now have a time to recover from the Cat-tastrophe of a few weeks ago that wiped out our emergency savings, Ben gets a better chance at a new position at work now that our schedules won’t change in 9 months, we get to earn more sick leave and vacation, we get to plan some trips and just spend a little bit more time with our amazing toddler.  It’s not all bad.

So that’s where we’ve been, where we am and where we’re going.  Onwards and upwards. 

Swinging Into Summer

Having kids has definitely reintroduced me to the joys of summer.  At heart I’m a cold weather kind of gal, but now summer definitely has some appeal in the way of “mostly free, out of the house activities”. 

We’re trying to keep our summer plans in a manageable list this year, but there’s a lot to pack into those sunny days.

The Essentials:
  1. Swimming Lessons
  2. Days at the Pool and Splash Pads
  3. Summer Reading Program at the Library
  4. Build Forts
  5. Eat Ice Cream
Around Town:
  1. Arts Fest
  2. Jazz Fest
  3. Friday/Saturday Night Music Series Downtown
  4. Johnson County Fair
  5. Hiking at the Reservoir and the Devonian Fossil Gorge!
  6. Farmer’s Market
  7. Fourth of July Parade and Fireworks
  8. Raptor Center
Get Out of Town:
  1. Visit the Zoo
  2. Irish Music Festival
  3. Ride the Scenic Valley Railroad
  4. End of Summer Trip to Chicago
  5. Hike at Kent Park or the Palisades
 Stay Home: 
  1. Run Thru the Sprinklers
  2. Popsicles
  3. Install the Outside Chalkboard
  4. Bubbles
  5. Dinosaur Bones Sensory Bin
  6. Try a New Craft
  7. Make and Can Jam

Where I’ve Been

Where have I been recently?  Everywhere, just not in front of Blogger.  There has been yard work to do, people to visit, parks to play in – everything – and it doesn’t look like it’s calming down anytime soon.  Next weekend is a wedding, a visit to some great-grandparents, hopefully a solid go at potty training, and that’s all before the calendar changes to June.  June will see trips to the swimming pool and swimming lessons.  July is filled with fairs, backyard fun and hopefully a trip to the zoo and an Irish Music Festival (okay technically that one is in August, but it’s August 2nd and I’m really excited for it).

We also had an emergency vet visit on Saturday night, but luckily we caught the problem in time (though the vet warned us another 6 hours and we would have probably had to say good-bye) and hopefully Hex will coming home tonight.  I tell you it’s all excitement around here.

I normally love winter – at least I did before I had small children – but I’m rediscovering the joy of summer.  We’re also plugging away at my husbands weight loss goals (pat him on the back when you see him, in one month he’s lost about 10 lbs) so we’ve been trying to be as active as we can while it’s warm.

For now I leave you oodles of garden pictures. 

{marigolds and onions}

{beans, peppers and cucumbers}





Keeping Kate

When I wrote “Great Girls Your Daughter Should Know… Before Reading Twilight” I expected a little controversy.  I expected a lot of “Don’t hate on Twilight” and debate about the books I’d picked – mainly because many of the books  I chose contain multiple adult situations.  I did not expect the Kate Hate.

I’m not a Shakespearean scholar, but spent a good amount of my college and post college years reading, writing about and working on Shakespearean shows so it’s safe to say I’m at best a well read enthusiast.  Today I want to take a few minutes to defend my inclusion of Kate on a list of “Great Girls”.

If you need to “Brush Up Your Shakespeare”, I’ll direct to the Wikipedia page for now, simply because I want to keep this short and simple.

Here’s the thing folks, I know in today’s society a work like “Shrew” doesn’t really fit into our ideas of what marriage or relationships should look like.  Having “Shrew” on my lists doesn’t mean I’m advocating that wives should be beaten, starved or submissive and I know from a modern point of view that is what it seems like the play is advocating – a strong woman beaten down into humble docility.  So, if that’s the case why is she on the list?

The most important reason I included her on my list is that the play has no one single interpretation and it opens up these topics in the classroom giving male and female students the chance to discuss issues like submissive behavior, changing yourself for a husband/boyfriend, etc.  You can interpret the play as an antiquated piece of misogyny, a simple farce or a complex statement on expected behavior in society. 

It remains on the list because this is a list of books and plays that I would want someone to read before “tackling” Twilight, which (let’s remember) is all about someone changing their behavior, social circle and appearance for the sake of “love” while in a rather abusive relationship.  If you want your daughters to look horrified at all things Edward does to Bella and the way Bella meekly accepts it (when she’s not contemplating suicide) then give them Kate before hand.  Reading a work like “Shrew” and having those discussions about those themes and behaviors will only help make your point about why the Twilight relationship is so unhealthy.

So folks, that’s it in a nutshell.  Kate is not going to be stricken from the list.  She remains on the list with a number of flawed characters because there is something in her story which I believe helps shine light on the faults of the Twilight Series for a young and impressionable audience.  She is on the list for a reason; case closed.

A Good Mother

 Sharing a little something from the past for Mother’s Day Weekend.  Have a fabulous celebration of whatever kind of Mother you are!

Please make a check next to every item one this list that pertains to you.  At the end of the test we’ll tally the results and give you a definitive answer of what kind of mother you are.

  • I am pregnant.
  • I’ve miscarried.
  • My children are fostered.
  • My children are adopted.
  • I want to be a mother.
  • I help with another persons child.
  • I’m the mother of one.
  • I’m the mother of many.
  • I’m the mother of multiples.
  • My children are one after the other.
  • My children are spaced out.
  • My children are young.
  • My children are older.
  • My children are breastfed.
  • My children are bottle-fed.
  • My children were delivered naturally.
  • I had a c-section.
  • I had no pain meds.
  • I did.
  • I birthed in a hospital.
  • I birthed at home.
  • I baby-carried.
  • I preferred a stroller.
  • I stay at home.
  • I work at home.
  • I work away from home.
  • My children are healthy.
  • My children are not.
  • My children wore cloth.
  • My children wore disposables.
  • I did EC.
  • I only cook from scratch.
  • My children have eaten a Kid’s Meal.
  • My children excel at something.
  • My children are still figuring it out.
  • My children struggle.
  • My children have special needs.
  • My children walked early.
  • My children walked later.
  • My children talked early.
  • My children talked later.
  • My children go to public school.
  • My children go to private school.
  • I can afford to give my children everything.
  • I can’t.
  • My children are always perfect.
  • My children try my patience.
  • Sometimes I need time by myself.
  • I never want to be away from my children.
  • My children watch TV.
  • My children don’t.
  • My children love being outside.
  • My children don’t.
  • My children were planned.
  • My children weren’t.
  • My children have a traditional life.
  • My children don’t.
  • I love my children.

Okay now it’s time to tally up the results:

If you checked off even one item on this list you are a Good Mother.

You are a Good Mother because there is no such thing as a Perfect Mother.  Every Good Mother has their strengths and weakness; their good days and bad days.  It doesn’t matter if you do things the same as your mother or differently than the next door neighbor because I believe that you’re doing what you believe is best for your children and your family and that is what is important.

So this Mother’s Day celebrate, the way you want to, that you’re a Good Mother and take a moment to give your fellow Good Mother’s a pat on the back, a little encouragement and a lot of support.  We’re all in this messy, exciting and terrifying moment in our lives together and we all deserve to be told that we’re Good Mothers.

And to you, my friend, who is a Good Mother and this is for you.  Please feel free to use it yourself and share it with someone who deserves to be told that they are a Good Mother.

molly makes do
molly makes do

In Which We Are Making and Reading

There are a lot of projects in the que right now.  I’m telling you there’s something in the water because the number of babies coming into this world (or who recently have) is borderline crazy, but a good kind of crazy.

I wish I had time to make everyone something!

The homestead is keeping me busy these days, but I do get a little reading time in here and there.  I’m currently working my way through

and .
Linking up with Ginny and Nicole!