I’m not announcing a blogging break, but rather just a heads up that I will scale back until I feel like my life is in sync with what I share on this blog again. I show pretty, happy pictures and things when they reflect my real life in some way and it seems discourteous right now to do such a thing with life still so disjointed.
I’m still recovering – an unplanned D&C on Friday both helped and hindered that in many ways and we’re trying to figure out ways to make our finances balance out again after a month of surprise doctor’s visits, vet bills, car repairs and the normal things in life.
I’m doing okay. I’ve made a good amount of peace with the pregnancy I was given at this point in my life, but I feel like we’ve had major set backs in health and finances in the last month that are making the light at the end of the family planning tunnel seem far away. I’m still learning to trust in that area in my life, and right now I know we’re being told that now is not a good time, but it doesn’t make things easier to accept. It’s hard to keep hearing “not now, not now” while watching (with complete love and joy) friends and family welcoming their first, seconds, thirds or more. No lie, there’s been a lot of “Why me?” type of thoughts in my head.
I’m trying to enjoy what we have and not let the future overwhelm me too much – and that’s a tall order for someone who’s battle anxiety issues in the past.
We’re doing okay and things will get better. I’ll be back soon.