My Teacher

Today at lunch Henry was playing with a necklace I was wearing.  He asked me “Mama, that you ce-cer?”  Normally very good at deciphering his vocabulary I had no idea what a “ce-cer” was.  I made many attempts, until finally I asked “Teacher?” to which he responded with an enthusiastic “Yeah!  That you ce-cer?”

“Mama, is that your teacher?”
Yes, I told him, I guess it is.

The necklace I was wearing is fairly new.  I purchased it on Wednesday, October 16th.  It is a tiny medal, no bigger than my thumbnail, the person on it is barely visible unless you’re up close.  I’m not even one of outward signs and symbols like this, but on Wednesday I had the firm desire to make this purchase

I bought it to have something to hold on to at a doctors appointment that afternoon and cling to it I did, literally. Barring a miracle I received the same news I did back on May 28th.  I was heartbroken and devastated.  I am heartbroken and devastated.

I have no idea where I’m going next.  I have no idea, yet, what this all means to me and my family.  I feel lost in my own life.  Mostly I feel like a failure.

But I hear they say when the student is ready the teacher appears.

So, St. Gerard of Majella.  Patron saint of Unborn Children and Expectant Mothers whose Feast Day is October 16th.

 I’m ready for my lesson.

6 thoughts on “My Teacher

  1. Oh Molly. I'm so sorry. I know nothing any of us can say will make it better, easier… But know that we're all there with you in spirit, holding you and praying for you. The lessons never become clear until you're on the other side, but I'm proud of you for be willing to learn. Hugs and love for all of you as you go through this again.


  2. I'm praying for a miracle. Your post about your last miscarriage brought me comfort and understanding when I went through a very similar situation in June. It hurts so much, and sadly we have just had another miscarriage. My prayers are with you- God bless!


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