(there’s so much I could add to this list – if there’s something I’ve forgotten to list it’s probably not intentional)

I don’t normally use this space to get political – in fact, I don’t want to get political now, this isn’t about politics for me.  I know that many of my friends and family and I disagree on this topic.  I know that many people I love have gone through this.  My opinion does not make me think less of them or sympathize less.

I’m just tired of being called a hypocrite because I don’t support abortion – and no doubt there many who are, who don’t care what happens after birth.  But that is not me; I care very much what happens during, afterward and before.  I try my best to walk my talk.  I simply believe I’d rather see money and resources go towards everything else on my list and that I want to do what I can to end the reasons that make abortion seem like the best choice.  My morals tell me that abortion is wrong, but at the same time my senses tell me that we’ll never convince people that it’s not necessary without working fix the issues that surround it.

I try not to harp about the politics – legal or illegal – because I realize that legality doesn’t change our current realities.  Do I understand why this is legal? Yes, I do.  Do I understand that without changing the cause legality wouldn’t change anything?  Yes, I do andI want to change the problems so that the legality becomes a moot point.

I want to work towards a world where we don’t need this – a world where a family doesn’t have to choose between a child and poverty, where a woman doesn’t have to choose between a child and her education, a world where we continue to work towards improving quality of life for those medical complications and a world where rape and domestic abuse are a distance memory.  Is it going to happen in my lifetime? No, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.  Do we have a long way to go? Absolutely, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.

If we disagree on this issue I don’t think you’re horrible.  If you’ve chosen this path I don’t think you’re evil.  I’ve been on both sides of this fence.  I’ve sat next to friends as they’ve chosen from the options available to them.  I work in the medical field.  I know that your heart is in the right place and I just want you to know that mine is too.

If I never see the politics change I can live with this.  The best way I can live is that any man or woman who comes to me in with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy – whether it’s my best friend or one of my children – knows that they can find support and love from me for them and the child.

I want you to know that if you came to me right now in a difficult situation – an unplanned pregnancy, a bad prenatal diagnosis, an abusive relationship – that I will do everything in my power to help you.  I would want to find the best way to support you and your child through this, in a way that respects both your needs and your child’s life.  I want you to know there are many ways to get help – there are many more clinics out there that provide services on a free and sliding payment scale.  There are resources for food, clothing and housing.  There is support for the realities of your child’s diagnosis and there are families waiting for this child if it’s the best choice for both of you.

*****I’m more than happy to engage in respectful dialogue on this issue, but I’m trusting my commenters to be able to keep things civil and respectful.  If you have a question, but do not want to ask in the comments you can email me at mollymakesdo at gmail dot com *****

6 thoughts on “3%

  1. Thank you for this thoughtful post. So many times, we hear how selfish abortion is, how “I could never/would never” with those folks having never been faced with such a decision or in such circumstances as many women find themselves. I comment you for your compassion and the work you're doing (even writing a post like this is helpful) to eradicate the situations in which abortion seems to be the only option. You are seeking to remedy the situation rather than casting stones.


  2. I can't discuss this without getting emotional since I myself was an unwanted pregnancy. It's hard to be detached when you are thinking of yourself as the one everyone is talking about getting “taken care of.” My birth mother was in college at the time and it's frightening to think that instead of adoption she could just as easily chosen to end my life completely. In her case I think the decision to give me up might have had more to do with being unable to face the fact that she was pregnant and having zero plan for what to do once I was actually born than anything else though. It was a nurse in the hospital that put her in touch with the Children's Home. I like to think that my life has value and it's a good thing that my mother didn't take it away from me, but I also believe that there's value in every human life whether that life just seems inconvenient or if there are much more serious circumstances at work. Thanks for trying to help all those other moms in scary and uncertain situations and protecting the lives of all those babies, both in the womb and out.


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